Monday, November 12, 2012

Nobody's Hero, Chapter 12

Jon looked at me, letting his fists relax. " are?"
I didn't do anything, tears streaming down my face, turning and walking away from them.
"Kmae!" Jon shouted, running after me, as Krystal grabbed his arm.
"You got her pregnant?" she said, her eyes cold, staring into his.
His gritted his teeth, as he ripped his arm away from her abruptly. "How was I supposed to know she would?"
Krystal rolled her eyes. "Jon, you know how the birds and the bees work..."
Jon cut her off. "Look, she wasn't supposed to find out about what you and me had, got it?" he kicked the log. "That tree got cut down when we broke up, why the fuck is it here?"
His screams frightened Krystal, her eyes looking at him, grinding her teeth at him. "Jon, we can't take back what we had..."
"Yes we can, goddammit!" he said, running after me, leaving Krystal in the dust.

I ran home, my sneakers pounding against the cement as I made my way to our house. I didn't know what I was going to do, my hands on my stomach. I was already a month pregnant, not knowing what I was about to do with a kid.
I got inside, and locked the door, breaking down and crying. I was only 19. I couldn't have a kid.
I didn't want a kid. No, not yet. But with me and Jon going on tour, we weren't going to have time to take care of a kid. Especially when I was trying to keep Jon from groupies or from Richie's liking for me.
Oh god. I hadn't thought of Richie. He was going to kill me. He loved me.
I dug into my bag for the extra pregnancy test. I couldn't be pregnant. There was no way.

And so I took it.

The results were negative, as I slumped against the bathroom door, crying into my hands. I didn't want a baby, but yet I did. I was too young, for that matter. But I wasn't sure what Jon would do. He didn't seem too happy when I told him, but now he'll be hurt more.
I heard the door open downstairs, as Jon looked around. "Kmae?"
I was still crying in the bathroom, as he made his way upstairs, hearing my sobs.
He jiggled the door handle, before knocking. "Kmae, please let me in..."
"No," I cried, "I don't want you to see me like this."
"Kmae, please," he pleaded, as I finally unlocked the door, coming out.
"I'm not pregnant," I said, as he watched me carefully.
"You just said-"
"I took another test. The first one was wrong."
He looked at me, before sitting on the edge of the bed. "Baby, I'm sorry."
I started to cry, as I threw my arms around him, crying into his shoulder.
He held me tightly, his arms wrapped around me in a wrap, as I cried into his t-shirt.

A few hours later, I sat curled up in a ball on his bed, my head hurting, as he came upstairs with a bottle of whiskey.
"Open up," he said, pouring a small glass.
I looked at him funny, as I switched on the radio, as Pink Floyd was on, as Jon hummed.
"It'll get rid of your headache," he said, placing a finger on my lips.
I wouldn't budge, as he looked at me. "Please? For me?"
"No," I murmured, trying to not smile as he placed a kiss on my lips.
I wrapped my arms around him carefully, pressing my lips to his harder, as he put a hand under my waist, pulling me into his lap, as I brushed away his hair.
"Seems like you two have made up," we heard behind us, as I pulled my lips from Jon's and looked behind me, seeing Richie standing in the doorway.

Sunday, November 11, 2012


Hey everyone! Oh gosh, it's been so long since I've updated this.

I'm working on the next chapter now. I haven't updated it because my account got hacked and wouldn't let me in. But I'm here now!

Hope you guys are still enjoying the story. I'll add the new chapter tonight.


Thursday, August 30, 2012

Nobody's Hero Chapter 11

Krystal, Jon and I talked for a while, That is after Krystal got a drink and was able to calm down enough. Richie and Cory sat on the other side of the room, giggling away at the many pointless thing's that occurred in their half drunken minds.

"Kmae, I'm worried about you....You should really get out more, get in some sunlight, I hate seeing you so hurt..." Krystal said to me, worry in her eyes.

"She's right, A sweet clover like you will wilt without sunlight." Jon chimed in, letting a hand brush under my chin. I looked up into his sensitive baby blue eyes, they watched me with such care and love.

"Guys, really, I'm okay. I promise." I said, but even though my words were meant to sound positive, they lacked every bit of enthusiasm that I had intended.

I looked over at the two, who sat in front of me, their faces tinted with equal worry for me. The room was silent for what seemed like forever, even though it had only been a minute. The only sound in the room was the kiddish laughter of Richie and Cory, completely oblivious to the conversation going on just a few feet from them.

"Kmae..." I heard Jon whisper, his eyes pleading for me to say something.

Just then, Krystal snapped her fingers and stood up abruptly. "I got it, Kmae I know the perfect place for you to go." She said, a smile forming on her face.

She turned to Jon, "Jon, Don't you remember CederSoul Park? The place we used to go to when we were...younger...?" She asked.

I watched as recognition collected on Jon's face, I watched as his eyes lit up and he turned to me. "Yes! Krystal that's perfect, Kmae, We've got to take you there. It will be exactly what you need!!"

"I... don't know." I murmured, biting my lip. "What will we do with those two, anyway?" I asked, pointing to Richie and Cory.

All three of us turned our gaze to look at the two, Richie was acting out his Uncle bit, and Cory was practically red in the face as he began laughing hysterically.

Krystal just looked at the two with a blank face, "...Well, let's just call them a cab and put them back where they came from." She said, referring to the bar.


Half an hour and a cranky cab driver later, Richie and Cory were on their way to the bar again, While Krystal, Jon and Kmae set out on their walk.

Krystal led the way with Jon and Kmae walking hand in hand just a few foot steps behind her.

"So you two came to CederSoul Park a lot as kids?" I asked, half smiling at Jon.

"Yeah, There are a lot of memories I remember in that park...." He said, trailing off a bit.

He turned to me again with a smile and brushed a piece of hair out of my eyes, "Maybe my clover and I can make a few more." He purred warmly.

I blushed softly as he spoke, squeezing his hand tighter in mine. Maybe this walk wasn't such a bad idea after all.

The three of us walked in content silence for a while, enjoying the warm sun rays and the cool breeze, as we walked down the path in the park. We walked for what seemed like a lifetime down the endless path, taking in all of it's beauty as we did.

"Let's stop here." Said Jon, leading me to a fallen tree trunk and sitting down, beckoning me to sit down next to him.

"It's so beautiful." I said, looking over the clearing that we were now gathered in. It was such unique solitude, quiet...It really was what I needed.

I closed my eyes as a gust of wind blew, letting leaves from the tree's flutter down around us in showers of red and orange. I felt Jon nuzzle my cheek with his, "See Clover, even the leaves are falling for you...."

I kept my cheek pressed against his comfortably as I looked down, my hands aimlessly tracing over the bark on the fallen tree trunk that we sat on. Krystal sat a few feet away, just staring calmly at the beautiful scenery. Suddenly the smile fell from my face as my fingers traced over a certain area on the tree trunk.

"What's this?" I asked, but it seemed more like an accusing statement than a question.

I watched as Jon's eyes slowly looked down to the spot my fingers were pointing at, to the carved out heart with two very familiar names inside.

"So there really were a lot of memories, hm?" I muttered, avoiding his gaze, and staring down blankly at the heart.

Krystals attention had been captured, and I felt her hand comfortingly be placed on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off without saying a word.

"Kmae..." Jon breathed quietly, placing his hand over mine. "That was a long time ago...."

I pulled my hand out from under his, Looking up into those familiar blue eyes. "How come I never knew about it."

I turned to Krystal, "and why didn't you tell me? Ever?" I asked, my voice holding a stressed tone, sounding slightly cold even against the crisp air in the park.

Jon sighed, "Kmae it doesn't matter, it didn't matter."

I could feel Krystal flinch behind me, but paid no mind. "WELL! It sure looks like it mattered a whole lot THEN now doesn't it?!"

Jon stood up, "I don't get it Kmae, Why are you acting so moody lately, why are you acting this way towards me, towards your friends!!"

I stood up quickly, my eyes blazing into his as my fist's clenched together. "MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT WITH YOUR CHILD!" I shouted at him.

I listened as my words echoed through the park, eventually becoming hushed by the sound of falling leaves and the soft whispering wind.

I realized what I had just said, It just sunk in. What did I just do?

I watched as the look of shock formed on both Krystal and Jon's faces, because even though my words ceased to echo in the park, my voice rung loudly in both the two's minds. 

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Nobody's Hero Chapter 10

I laid my head back on the bed, as Jon laid down beside me.

"Clover?" he whispered into my ear. "Are you feeling better?"

I didn't want to talk, so I just rolled over and looked at his baby blue eyes. I could tell that he didn't want me to be so hurt, his eyes were so cold. I took my hand and set it on his arm. It was warm to the touch, as I went up and down.

The sun was pouring in through the window, because it was about noon. I didn't want to do anything. Just sit here.

"Clover," Jon whispered. "I feel really bad."

"Don't," I said, quietly. I got closer to him as he wrapped his arms around me.

For being in the house, he dressed like he was on the road. A pair of blue leopard pants, and a ripped Harley-Davidson shirt.

I grabbed the small wolf tooth necklace gently

He kissed my forehead, and I smiled for the first time in a month since my parents had died. He looked at me before pressing his warm lips to mine. They were gentle, as if kissing a small butterfly.

"Do you want to go get something to eat?" he asked. "Krystal will be coming over in a bit with Richie."

I nodded, slowly getting up and turning the radio on. Even in these times of being said, the radio was my best friend.

"You know what, Clover?" he smiled, getting up and wrapping his arms around my waist. "I think you're perfect."

I smiled as he nuzzled his nose inbetween my neck and my shoulder. I kissed his hand and he slowly broke away as I went into the bathroom.

I still had lost all the weight, and not gained it back. It was taking a huge toll on my body. The dark circles under my eyes weren't enough to express how much sleep I had lost. It wasn't good.

I pulled an old tour t-shirt that Richie had given me awhile back from Deep Purple, and a pair of short denim ripped jeans. I slipped on an old pair of worn out cowgirl boots, and put my long hair into a curly bun.

Jon was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching me put makeup on.

"You know," he whispered, "you look beautiful without it too."

I smiled. "You really know how to make someone happy, don't you?"

"You talked!" he laughed.

I rolled my eyes and put the rest of my makeup on, but turned back to Jon. "Wait, Krystal was coming with Richie?"

"Yeah," he said, "she was going to pick him up on her way here."

"Aren't they going to get Cory too?" I asked. I hadn't actually seen Richie's friend Cory Finch for a while. He had gone to school with Richie, and was Richie's best friend, other than Jon.

"I'm not sure. But I wouldn't be suprised if he did," Jon said. "Richie will be leaving with us soon, so I'd think he'd hang out with an old friend of his."

"He better not flirt with me," I growled.

Jon laughed. "Why wouldn't any guy NOT want to?"

There was a ring at the door, as Jon slid down the creeky staircase, and landed infront of the door.

Richie walked in first, his face beet red. You could tell he had been drinking, as Krystal came in, her hair messed up, and Cory behind her as he laughed.

"Do you realize how hard it is to bring drunk Richie here?" Krystal said, her eyes full of anger towards Richie. She turned around and pointed to Cory. "You weren't much help, either!"

"What?" he laughed, almost losing his breath. "Richie, Richie, do the uncle thing!"

"NO," Krystal said, shoving Richie out of the way so she could talk to me. "Goddammit. I need a drink."

"I'll go get you one," Jon said. "Clover?"

I shook my head, and hugged Krystal. "What happened?"

"Dumbass Richie here," she pointed to him, "decided to go to a bar."

"It wasn't that bad," Cory said.

"Do you realize which bar he went to?" she said. "It was two hours away!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," the drunk Richie said between laughs. "I just can't help like that a perfect bachelor like me can't help but go find love in other places!"

"In a BAR?" she said. She rolled her eyes and sunk into the sofa in the living room.

"Hi, Cory," I said.

"Hi, Kmae. It's nice seeing you again," he said. "You look perfect as always."

"Why thank you," I blushed.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Nobody's Hero Chapter 9

It all had happened so fast. The good bye, to promises of seeing them again, heading off with the band, the crash, the pain, the dizziness, the loss......

They were dead. Killed. A semi hit them head-on while they were driving to visit a friend of theirs. Gone. Instantly.

And now we're back, back in my hometown. Back where we started but nothing was the same. Nobody was around anymore, nobody I could hug like I could them.

Jon sat on the edge of the bed as I was in the bathroom of my apartment, throwing up. I couldn't think anymore. Everything I ever had, was gone. I couldn't come to think that they had actually gone.

"Clover, are you alright?" he said, a tone of worry in his voice. "I can take you to the doctor, you've been puking for three hours straight."

I walked out of the bathroom, as Jon looked up at me like a puppy.

"I want to die," I whispered. "I don't deserve you or the band or the tour."

Jon stood up, putting his hands on my waist, and his lips to my ear. "Kmae, you deserve everything you have because you've been so nice to everyone. You've never hurt anyone, and everyone likes you. I love you."

"Why would my parents die then? Why would I be puking in my bathroom and losing 35 pounds in the last week if this is what I deserve?" I cried. "Jon, is this what I deserve? To be so sick at myself that I don't want to live here anymore?"

He hugged me. "Clover, you're my everything. If I lost you, who would I be?"

I hugged him back, tears staining his dark blue Aerosmith t-shirt.

I felt all my feelings come back over me as I ran to the bathroom, and threw up once again. I hadn't eaten in days, and I had already lost 35 pounds in the last week. Tonight was the funeral for my parents.

"Clover, Krystal's here," Jon said, standing in the doorway.

"I'll be down in a minute," I said through tears. I finished, and walked slowly down the stairs. I could hear Krystal and Jon talking.

"She needs to go to the doctor," Jon said, almost in tears. "I don't want to lose her, Krystal."

"What happened?" she asked.

"She's been puking for three hours. Since we got home on Saturday, she's lost over 35 pounds. I'm worried about her, Krystal. I don't know what to do and I'm scared," Jon said in tears.

Krystal put her hand on her head. "Jon, she needs to see a doctor."

"I already tried. She said she doesn't want to. This is the sickest I've seen her in a long time," Jon said, worry in his tone of voice.

I came down the stairs, as Jon and Krystal stood there looking at me. I had one of Jon's shirts on, and it looked like a dress on me because I had lost so much weight.

Krystal was almost in tears when she saw me, and came over and hugged me.

"You're coming tonight, right?" I asked her.

She nodded. "I'd be there if a tornado hit the damn place."

I hugged her tighter. "I better go get ready," I let a few more tears fall.

She nodded, letting me go, as I went back up the stairs.

Jon straightened his tie, as I stood beside him, a black dress on. I tried to keep back the tears as we walked into the funeral home. I was worried, with him by my side, that everyone was going to attack him or ask for autographs, but nobody did. In fact, nobody said a word to him.

We sat through the whole service, and Jon got up and talked in front of everyone.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," he cleared his throat. "I've known Mr. and Mrs. Bruce for a long time. Their wonderful daughter, Kmae, has been in my life since I was 14. They allowed me to love her, which is the best present any family member could give me. Yes, we've had rough times, but I don't like to think of them that way."

Krystal inhaled deeply, tears slowly falling down as she held my hand.

"I like to think of them," Jon said, pulling something out of his pocket, "I like to think of them as having one of the best lives ever. This," he showed the object to everyone, "is a clover. To remind them of their daughter, who was very loving and kind to everyone, just as they were." He set it on their urn, which they were cremated together.

Me and Krystal started bawling, as Jon came back down.

"How'd I do?" he asked, holding my other hand tightly in his.

"Wonderful," I whispered. "Just wonderful."

He kissed my forehead, and we listened to the rest of the funeral, before leaving, with footsteps of pain walking behind us.

Nobody's Hero Chapter 8

[Written by Krystal]
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Krystal asked me. Krystal had been my friend for a very long time. We were really close, and even though I couldn’t wait to head off with Jon and the band for the first leg of their runaway tour, having to leave behind my best friend – and my family - was one of the hardest things I could do.

“Yes Krystal, It is. I know you have had a rough past with Jon but you know he’s a good person," I said,  reassuringly.

“I know…I just don’t want you to get hurt.” Responded Krystal,  I gave Krystal a hug and smiled.

“I’ll be fine, Krystal, believe me.” Jon stood sheepishly in the door frame of Krystal’s house. He could only vaguely overhear Me and Krystal’s conversation, but he knew we were talking about him.

“Maybe I should just wait outside….” Jon said, slowly moving away.

“Don’t be silly, Jon. Good luck on your tour….” Said Krystal, her voice seemed to almost crack as she spoke to Jon, and even as she did she couldn’t look him in the eyes, leaving an awkward gap in their good-bye.

“Thank you.” Replied Jon, and then turned to me.

“Well, we should get going, Clover, we can’t keep the band waiting, and especially my manager….” Jon laughed.

“Alright, Bye Krystal, I’ll miss you!” I said, as I was smiling at Krystal and walking towards the door.

“I’ll miss you too, Keep in touch. Take care of her, Jon.” Said Krystal, half smiling.

Jon nodded in reply and began walking out the door with me at his side. She turned to wave at Krystal, who waved back with a smile as she was leaning against the frame of her front door.

It had been hours since me, Jon and the band had got on the tour bus and left our New Jersey hometown.  The band had talked a lot for a while; we talked about how amazing it was to be heading out on their first tour. What an amazing experience and opportunity. As usual Alec got on my nerves, David had spent most of the day wise cracking, but right now everyone was asleep. Everyone except for me, of course.

Jon was sleeping right next to me, and I couldn’t help but admire how beautiful he was, even when he was sleeping. I gave him a feather light kiss on his lips and smiled.  I turned my gaze to the rest of the members, there was Richie curled up on the seat, cradling his guitar in his arms as he slept. That was Richie, he treated his guitars like his babies, and god forbid anything ever happen to them, he would go insane.  It occurred to me how lucky I was to have such great friends, and to be able to go with them on our journey to fame, but more of the fact that they actually let me.

 But I began thinking about my parents, the argument that we had before I left with Jon. They were worried about me, they thought that I would end up in bad situations, or end up crushed and hurt.

“Can’t you trust me; can’t you understand that I can take care of myself, Mom? Dad? Please….” I had pleaded.

“It’s not you that we don’t trust, it’s that boy.” My mother said, firmly.  

“But mom, I love Jon, and he wouldn’t let anything happen to me, he wouldn’t let anyone hurt me. I love him, and I love music, and this is what I want to do, please.” I had said, determined to go where my heart wanted.

“Not just that,” Began my father, as if he heard nothing of what I had just said, and was continuing off where my mother left, “But your being put in a bus with four other teenage boys, Kmae. Your young and-“

“No! Dad, stop, there, I’ll be fine. Nothing will happen to me I promise. Nothing!” I reassured my parents the best I could, though they were still reluctant.

“I just don’t want to lose my baby.” my mother said, solemnly. I took both my parents in a huge hug and held them tightly.

“I’ll be okay, I love you and you won’t lose me.” I said.

“You won’t lose us either, Kmae, we promise. We’ll always be here if you need us.” Promised both my parents, lovingly.

I remembered the warmth and the love I felt, how protected I felt with my parents hugging me, how much I knew they loved me, how much they only wanted the best for me….

I must have dosed off because suddenly I was woken up by someone shaking me as I heard my name being called, quite loudly.

I opened my eyes and saw Jon, Richie and the rest of the band staring at me with horrified and worried expressions.

 “Clover….” Jon almost whispered my name, it was almost barely audible, I could tell something bad had happened.

“What? God what is it?” I sat up, horrified.

“Something horrible has happened…” Said Richie quietly, looking me in the eyes.

“What? Please tell me. Something horrible has happened to who?”

“Clover, It….It’s….Your parents.”  Jon said, his Blue eyes brimmed with worry and sadness.

At that moment, my heart dropped and a whirl pool of panic overtook me, and for once the fact that Jon called me Clover offered me no reassurance.

“You won’t lose us either, Kmae, we promise. We’ll always be here if you need us.”  The last thing her parents said to me was sent spiraling and  ringing in my head, making me feel dizzy and sick, and before anyone even told me exactly what happened I knew it in the back of my mind.

I did lose them. Forever....

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Nobody's Hero Chapter 7



Jon shut his suitcase, while the red suede cowboy boots walked into the living room of his parents house.

"Well," he hesitated, looking at me. "Are you sure you're not coming?"

"I wouldn't want to bother you guys," I said.

He laughed as he set his suitcase down. "You wouldn't bother the devil if you told him hello, Clover."

I loved it when he called me Clover, even more than I did when he called me Kmae. He called me Clover because I was almost pure Irish, which he loved about me.

But, part of me was still that Norwegian spunk that he loved also.

"I guess I could..." I said.

He smiled. "That's my girl."

"You mean your Runaway?"

"That, and you're also my Clover."

I smiled, standing up, and giving him a small kiss. "I'll go get my stuff packed."

"Need help?"

I smiled a flirty smile. "Yeah, I do."

He tried to tickle me as I ran up the stairs, yelling "stop!" very loud.

"If I stopped, I wouldn't be able to love you," he laughed.

"You could still love me minus the tickling!"

He smiled as he grabbed my waist and threw me onto the bed, kissing me.

"I think I better get packed," I laughed with my hands still tangled in his soft hair.

He still had his lips pressed slightly on mine. "Alright, but I'll get you later, alright?"

"Don't forget!" I smiled, kissing him more then pulling away.

"How many bras do you need?" Jon laughed, holding one in the air.

"Girls don't wear one for a month!" I laughed. "I've only got nine of them."

"You don't need them," he laughed.

I shot him a look. "Are you saying I don't have boobs?"

"I never said that."

"Yeah you did."

He laughed, throwing it to me. "What I meant was, I like it better when you don't have one on."

I rolled my eyes. "Keep on dreaming."

"Oh yes I will," he said, with an evil smile curled upon his lips.


He laughed, and then zipped up my suitcase. "Well, you ready?"

"Of course!"